Friday Top Ten

Thank you Jesus this week is almost over!

As all two of you know by now I do a Friday top ten every most weeks because my brain is sipping two pina coladas, one for each hand by now and I can't function properly so this is the easiest way to get you off my back for the weekend.

Please note I'm composing this post under the influence of a most likely toxic combination of Tylenol Severe Cold, Advil and coffee.  So plllleeeeeeeeeaaaaaaase forgive me, I know not what I do.  See that's why I stick with the easy stuff on Friday's.  My brain is filled with 90's songs and thoughts of which show I'm going to watch first this weekend on the DVR (Glee, definitely Glee, and Grey's Anatomy and Modern Family).

So I present to you:

mental vomit on a stick (again)

Top ten reasons why I think the universe hates me OR top ten reasons why I HATE THE UNIVERSE:  (it's reversible)(bam!)

10.0) The only other girl that works in the office was on vacation this week which means I had to do her job and mine.  I HAD TO WORK, PEOPLE.  And she likes to wipe the guys' asses for them so they expect me to do the same.  Negative, you're a grown man with half a brain, do it yourself.

9.2) Period devil.  Enough said.

8/5) Alexa woke up with pink eye Thursday morning.  Avery had it last week but I thought Alexa had managed to not get it.  WRONG.

7.6) Putting eye drops in a four year old. sucks. big. donkey. balls.

6.a) Planning a birthday party fit for a diva princess while working every day (including Saturday, the day of the party) is kinda hard, yo.

5v) Did I mention I don't feel well?

4.1) I don't have Alexa's present yet (Mother of the Year) and it's Josh's job to get it today and that scares the shit out of me.  He's usually only good for two things: 1. fixing things and, nope that's it.

3.9+) I'm fat and bloated and moody and having hot flashes.  I think I'm going through early onset menopause.

2.$) mental diarrhea

1*) Does anybody else see those monkey's dancing on the screen?  No?  Just me?  Awkward.

Add your shit in the provided comment section.  I wanna hear from you because I love you and I care.

Peace out.

Have a great weekend.