I've been racking my noggin for something easy to write about every Friday because my brain usually packs its bags and heads for Barbados sometime during the day on Thursday.
This is usually due to the kids, you know, being kids and *needing* me to do shit for them in order for them to survive.
It has nothing to do with the vodka.
So I came up with this idea. Actually David Letterman came up with this idea but I don't watch him (just the one top ten when my girl Brit Brit sat on a desk, in a bikini because, you know, that's just how she rolls, and read his top ten list of the week,,,,too many commas in that sentence) so I'm claiming it as my brain child.
So I present to you:
mental vomit on a stick
Top Ten Things I Need To Put On A Recorder On Repeat Blaring Through My House:
1. Did you wipe your bottom?
2. Keep your hands to yourself!
Also applies to the male of the household. Just kidding. Maybe. Probably.
2 1/2. Gentle touches, be nice, don't hit.
3. Where is your sippy cup? Shoes? Shirt? Why don't you have your shirt on?
4. Why are there boogers on your sheet? Use a kleenex, or at least roll them up in a ball and throw them on the floor.
5. Stop yelling! WHY IS EVERYBODY YELLING?!
6. No, I don't care what she did to piss you off, no tattle telling unless somebody has a broken arm or is bleeding out of their face.
7. If I step on another toy because it's in the middle of the GD floor I'm going to throw them all away.
8. I'm your mom/wife NOT YOUR *#&@^!*# MAID.
9. Alexa don't wait 'til the last second before the pee explodes out of you, go to the bathroom right away.
10. Avery stop swimming in the toilet it's a toss up on whether or not Sis has flushed the damn thing.
There you have it.
Feel free to add to this list in the comment section. Hint hint.
And if you have any top ten list ideas for me hit me up!
Have a great Labor Day weekend, I hope you spend it drinking too much and eating too many brats so you get fatter than me and I can judge you behind your back.
Kisses,
Teisha
#4 would be modified for me.
ReplyDeletewhy do u have a booger wall?
just came by to say...
thanks for stopping by on my sits day, a day that i needed just a WEEEE bit of extra love :) ur awesome!!!!
Oh how I adore you. Seriously. We should be neighbors.
ReplyDeleteAll too often in my household - "I swear if you do that one more time..." (Fill in the blank. You need to keep changing the end of this sentence so that it stays threatening or even better just leave it as an open ended sentence)
ReplyDeletehow about a top ten list of the top ten lists?
ReplyDeleteowie, now my head hurts. that's what i get for commenting at 1 am.
Would you like a timeout? (Ryan does the same naughty action) Ok, let's go!
ReplyDeletePs your blog made me laugh so hard tonight I think I may have to start blogging.
ReplyDelete