This Post Is About Lady Parts And Happy Pills. You've Been Fairly Warned.

The annual visit to the vagina dr was this morning before work and before I had any coffee.  Side note-next time schedule the appointment for, like, lunch time not the time of day when you are at your grumpiest.  Moron.

Also, to the super happy nurse that was all smiles and rainbows and unicorns and over apologetic for making me walk five feet further than needed because the one scale was broken and also over apologetic about the fact that *they* changed the computer systems so I had to fill out one extra form FOR THE LOVE OF COFFEE AND VAGINA'S SIMMER THE FUCK DOWN.

So, whatever, the doc walks in and is all:

So, how are things?

Fine.

Hmmm, I see here you have the Mirena.

Nope, I had that taken out because it was constant period devil and it made me sorta murdery.

*snicker* well that's not good.  Too bad because that is usually a fantastic option and works well for most people.

(That's what the other devil dr. told me and it's starting to piss me off.) I know, I was bummed.

So, what are you on now?

The pill, Ortho Trinuisance.

How is that working?

Fine besides the fact that I'm still kinda moody and I'm blaming my birth control for that so is there a different pill with, like, less hormones or something?

Yes, how long is it that you've been moody?  And for what duration during the month?  Also, are you done having children?

Uhhhh, ever since I had Avery, so about 18 months now.  And, I don't know, it definitely gets worse at PMS time or when Josh pisses me off (everyday) and it seems to get better when I'm taking the sugar pills or whatever they are.  And, YES MOST DEFINITELY!

Well, hmm, have you considered a vasectomy for Hubs?

Yes, I'm just lazy and haven't made the phone call to get the balls chopped.

There's also the option of an in office procedure similar to getting your tubes tied but without actually cutting you open and going to the hospital and possibly dying or becoming a vegetable.

Wait, what?  Like a permanent option for me that's less invasive than the old fashioned way?  Don't tell Josh because then I lose my 'the surgery is way harder for girls than it is for boys and you would have to take care of me and the girls and clean the house and cook for possibly a whole month' argument.  K?

Uh huh. *side eye to the crazy patient*  Well, let's try these other pills for awhile but if you feel like they aren't working give me a call and we can maybe try a mild anti-depressant and see if that helps.

*blink* *blink* *starting to get the sweats* *fighting the inner turmoil that is both ecstatic and defensive because I'm not depressed just a little ... high strung and moody*  Oh, ok doc.

So, apparently sending the 'Get Teisha On Xanax' message out into the innernets and universe worked.  I'm a little freaked out about it.  How about 'Get Teisha The Winning Lottery Ticket' as my next venture.

I learned a lot today:

1) Vagina dr. before coffee + unicorn poop nurse = tired and confused patient.

2) One doesn't have to go to a therapist to be diagnosed as crazy.

3) I would totally go gay for any of the Victoria's Secret angels and *where* do I get a sparkly runway like that?  Quite possibly the awesomest thing I've seen all day.

Vagina and mental health happiness,
Teisha