Alexa's Minute

Dear Diary:

Sorry I haven't written in you for like, ever, I've just been really busy playing Barbies and teaching Avery all the important things in life, like how to fart on command and spin around really fast and fall on the floor because that is so awesome and it tickles.  HAHAHAHAHAHA.  Mom hates it when we do that 'cause she claims somebody (side-eye Avery) is going to fall and crack their head open or something.  RELAX MOM.

Mom and I haven't been getting along real well lately.

She freaks out about everything.  She's usually spouting off about listening to her and I have to ask her what she said because I wasn't listening but whatevs.  I'm busy playing on the 'puter or coloring and plotting how I'm going to take over the world someday. 

On second thought, though, we have been doing some pretty fun things lately....like going shopping and she always buys me something.  She is such a pushover.  And then she goes on and on and on about how much she likes having me along and I'm all, yeh, so what are you gonna buy me?  No, DIARY, I'm not spoiled.  Who's side are you on?

Sometimes I might overreact (if you tell Mom I admitted that I'll rip you up and throw you in a fire, don't test me) about things.  

Like the other day when Mom found her nail file I had broken in half, taped back up and stashed underneath the couch.

And she was totally cool about it but my heart felt really guilty so I had a major meltdown.

Like 6.3 on the richter scale (note to self: ask google what the heck a richter scale is) MAJOR.

And also the old stinky pull-ups I had stashed underneath the bed.  It's just that I KNOW I'm old enough to be tinkling in the toilet at night I just don't wake up until after the fact.  She's all 'it's ok, you'll figure it out someday' but it's frustrating to me.

Almost every morning we argue about what I'm going to wear.  I always want to wear a skirt or a dress (because I'm fabulous, duh) but sometimes Mom will be all, THERE'S NO SKIRTS CLEAN YOU HAVE TO WEAR SOMETHING ELSE and she claims I can't dig through the hamper to find one.  Whatever, Mom.

Seriously, being a four and a half year old is hard yo.

OH, one more thing.

I asked Mom this question the other day but she just kind of giggled and had a hard time answering so....

OHMYGOSH, why did that cow get on the other cow?!?

Princess farts and sparkles,
Alexa