The thermometer and I had an argument this morning, it went a little something like this:
The temperature is -17 degrees outside.
Fuck you.
Hey, don't shoot the messenger lady.
I hate this weather and I'll cry about it if I want to.
Well, that's what you get for living in Iowa surrounded by corn and cow poo.
Shut it thermometer or I'll throw you outside to die a slow freezing death.
Ha - you can't kill me! I'm god in the eyes of farmer's! Why, without me, what would they talk about?
*punches the thermometer in the face*
I need a vacation.
-17? That reminds me of an old George Carlin joke I find amusing.
ReplyDelete"Remember this is Al Sleet, your hippy dippy weatherman reminding you that if you don't like your weather....MOVE"
I need a vacation, too.
ReplyDeleteThe Quad City Times is like practically MAKING me go to Tampa Bay. They throw this huge yellow sticker with words like "swimsuit, sunscreen.." blah blah blah right on the front. I mean one-way flights for only 65 bucks - which would total $332.74 for two people there and back (see what I've been busy doing this morning?!).
So, end of February, I think I might take my first airplane ride ever, right to sunny Flo-Rida.
Eeek, you're colder then me! We are bracing for a windy, below zero weekend and I'm not looking forward to it. Should have married someone from Florida, sigh.
ReplyDeleteOMG! You need to come visit me. It's a balmy 19 degrees right now.
ReplyDelete