Fatty McFatterton

I have recently jumped on the skinnies bandwagon, not that I wasn't ever on it but it was more like I was watching from a distance flipping everybody off that was actually riding it.  So anyways, since I'm 99.99% sure I'm not having any more babies - at least that's what my OrthoTrisomething claims since I can't have the Mirena because it made me very murdery and schizz but that's for another time - I figured I should finally get supah dupah fly before I got supah dupah old and couldn't be fly anymore.

So far it's been a huge success.

It started with cutting out the pop.  I have Mountain Dew in my blood so it was a struggle to give that up but I soon found a new love, coffee.
Caffeine +1 Diet +1 Blood Pressure -14

Next was no more eating out for lunch everyday and instead bring a tasteless pile of dung Lean Cuisine to work for lunch.
Diet +2 Taste Buds -69

water water water water water water.  By the way, whoever said that drinking water when you're hungry to make yourself feel full was full of shit, it doesn't work.
Diet 0 Staying Regular +147

Run everyday, if by run everyday you mean jog/walk when the weather is perfect and there isn't something more fun to do like drink then yes, run everyday.
Diet +1/2

Try not to eat after 7 at night.
Diet +4

Portion control! Not to be confused with pussy control I think that's the largest factor in this whole battle against the fat.  I eat what I want just smaller portions of it.  And I need to work on cutting out seconds because that usually defeats the smaller portion purpose. Don't judge me.
Diet +74

Yesterday I fell off the bandwagon and it was a gigantic diet FAIL.

Glass of milk on the way to work and Nutrigrain bar - 340 calories
Two cups of coffee - 70 calories
Donut - 300 calories Worth. Every. Calorie.
Subway 6" BMT Baked Lays - 650 calories
Cheeseburger Doritos Watermelon Cookie - eleventy billion calories

Alright, now I'm confused with all the math I've made myself do but I think the moral of the story is:  Drinking lots of water helps you poop everyday when I typed that I sang it like Mary Poopins and it was so much cooler, try it.

Skinny fairy dust all around.

<------ Me, someday soon, pinky swears. Stop laughing.