Six Movies And A Nap

I sit here listening to the children scream at eachother in the other room wondering how long I should be a horrible mother wait for them to work it out amongst themselves.

Dear Kids: Please don't bill me for your inevitable therapy bills.

Anycrazy.

As I was listening to them fight I couldn't help but dream of the vacation that never ceases to be anything other than amazeballs.

Two years ago when Avery was just six weeks old and Alexa was 2.5 my entire family and I hopped into an RV and drove down to Gulf Shores, AL.

We decided right then and there that we will be back.  Again and again.

And again.

We just recently made a return trip there and despite the fact that Mother Nature desperately needs to get laid because she was a bitch the first two days, we made the best of it and have already decided to go back, soon.

Wouldn't you want to?

I need to rewind some.

What do they say? "Getting there is half the fun"

Ummmm, right.

Instead of a clown car it was a giant family RV.

Four children ages 1, 2, 3 and 4.

Seven 'adults' that typically act like 12 year old boys.

100 bananas.  47 million juice boxes.  100 million times 'It's mine!  No!  It's! MINE!' was heard echoing throughout the 'bus.'

A couple movies, a sorta nap, a stay at a shady hotel in Mississippi and 18 motherfucking hours of drive time, we made it.

Thank you Jesus.

Since it rained the first 48 hours we were forced to let the kids run around batshit crazy and hit the indoor swimming pool while we watched with longing eyes at the sand and surf just a few feet away.

Then we got kicked out of the indoor swimming pool because there was lightning.

Hmmmm, I'm no genius but that's just idiotic.

We also played a game of Texas Hold 'Em and drank the afternoon away until finally some reprieve from the rain.

Thankfully Mother Nature pulled the stick out of her ass and gave us sunshine the last day we were there.

We also had a seafood night in which we threw a live lobster into boiling water and then I cried and vomited in my mouth a little.

I will stick with the shrimp and crab legs thankyouverymuch.

And what's a vacation without an injury?  About five minutes before we were going to take a family picture Alexa decided to get to know Maddox's forehead a little better.  With her eye.

Day four - the most colorful day there was.

Then it was 'pack up the shit and head out' time.

The ride home was a much quieter one.  I think the kids and big kids were a little exhausted from the fantastical trip.

I CAN NOT wait to go back.

Vacation Teisha out.