That's where my life is at right now. The in-between, the do I stay or do I go, the purgatory, the nothing, the ........
Don't get me wrong, life is good blah blah blah. Kids are happy and healthy. I'm employed, own a house, a car and a dog.
Lucy's story:
I adopted her with the understanding she was around one. Took her to the vet, found out she's at least nine. NINE. Makes me sad for her first nine years of life.
The end.
On the flip side of 'life is good' there is the fact that in the past 4 years I've gotten divorced, put on anxiety meds, gained 60ish pounds, and am all around bleh. Not depressed, remember LIFE IS GOOD! blah blah blah just bleh.
Divorce sucks. If you've been through one you know this, if you haven't please don't judge us who have. My divorce was 'amicable' no lawyers fighting, no restraining orders, no changing numbers and not communicating, no using the children to hurt the other (you're an asshole if this is you) but it was still hard. Moving out of my house of 10 years was hard. Moving (20 minutes) away from my community was hard. Making sure the children stayed as happy as possible during such an unhappy time was hard. Losing lots of friends due to distance or difference of opinion was hard. Hard but very much worth it. I won't bore you with the why's (at least not right now) but we all came out the other side successfully. New beginnings. New 'normal.'
So there's that.
Along with the divorce, and pre divorce sadness, came weight gain. I'm not happy in this body. I also know how it happened (drinking ALL. THE. BEER and eating ALL. THE. FOOD on top of being lethargic) and don't need your help reversing it thankyouverymuch. So it's really kind of a wicked two steps forward one step back or one step forward two steps back? Who fucking knows, or cares.
Get divorced and pretend to figure life out = lots of backward and forward steps netting out to .99 step forward.
Get lonely = lots of backward and forward steps. It's a different kind of loneliness from when I was married. I was married and surrounded by lots of loving people but lonely. Now I'm single and surrounded by a select few loving people but lonely. Life is an asshole. So I'm gonna chalk this one up to a wash. 0 steps forward.
Get fat = 4 steps backward.
Start doing yoga regularly = 3 steps forward for both mind and body.
So where are we?
Math tells me I'm at a net of .01 step backward. Sounds about right. Stuck in the ........
 |
| Lucy |
I adopted her with the understanding she was around one. Took her to the vet, found out she's at least nine. NINE. Makes me sad for her first nine years of life.
The end.
On the flip side of 'life is good' there is the fact that in the past 4 years I've gotten divorced, put on anxiety meds, gained 60ish pounds, and am all around bleh. Not depressed, remember LIFE IS GOOD! blah blah blah just bleh.
Divorce sucks. If you've been through one you know this, if you haven't please don't judge us who have. My divorce was 'amicable' no lawyers fighting, no restraining orders, no changing numbers and not communicating, no using the children to hurt the other (you're an asshole if this is you) but it was still hard. Moving out of my house of 10 years was hard. Moving (20 minutes) away from my community was hard. Making sure the children stayed as happy as possible during such an unhappy time was hard. Losing lots of friends due to distance or difference of opinion was hard. Hard but very much worth it. I won't bore you with the why's (at least not right now) but we all came out the other side successfully. New beginnings. New 'normal.'
So there's that.
Along with the divorce, and pre divorce sadness, came weight gain. I'm not happy in this body. I also know how it happened (drinking ALL. THE. BEER and eating ALL. THE. FOOD on top of being lethargic) and don't need your help reversing it thankyouverymuch. So it's really kind of a wicked two steps forward one step back or one step forward two steps back? Who fucking knows, or cares.
Get divorced and pretend to figure life out = lots of backward and forward steps netting out to .99 step forward.
Get lonely = lots of backward and forward steps. It's a different kind of loneliness from when I was married. I was married and surrounded by lots of loving people but lonely. Now I'm single and surrounded by a select few loving people but lonely. Life is an asshole. So I'm gonna chalk this one up to a wash. 0 steps forward.
Get fat = 4 steps backward.
Start doing yoga regularly = 3 steps forward for both mind and body.
So where are we?
Math tells me I'm at a net of .01 step backward. Sounds about right. Stuck in the ........
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